12:05 a.m. - 08.06.2004
chewing on entrails
I'm in a crappy mood. Be forewarned.
Went to the stupid dog park today. I had never been there before. It was okay if you like lesbians and the rancid smell of dogshit. There are little bags everywhere so when the dogs shit, you can pick up the steaming pile and throw it away, but only like half the people actually do that. Part of a lake is roped off for the dogs to swim in, which was funny for me because I got to watch my dog chase the other dogs into the water because she kind of can't swim and sinks like a rock. She didn't die or anything, don't worry.
Whoa - is my life really this fucking pointless that I'm talking about this? Whatever. Seems weird that there is even a dog park at all, and weirder that there are all these people who go there all the time. And weirder still that I have a dog. And a "husband"? What? Fuck this. Oh, speaking of.
Yeah, so Jake wouldn't go with me of course, since apparently being outside of the house doesn't agree with him. Ever. Except occcasionally to go be manly with his walking-haircuts-for friends, who aren't really his friends, but chauvinistic placeholders. One guy despises his wife that he was forced into marrying because she got knocked up, and talks about it all the time. One guy hates fat chicks and talks about that all the time. It's awesome.
Anyway, dog park - yeah, so I saw a Weimaraner puppy at the park... which reminds me of more bitching - Jake really wants to get one of those dogs, he talks about it all the time, but I'm like, um.... hell no. He thinks he wants a dog so he can teach it to do tricks and catch a frisbee. Yeah. You know, dogs won't learn tricks by you sitting at your computer all the time. And he thinks he wants to have kids, which is ridiculous... I can't even imagine what that would be like. Actually... I can.
kid: Daddy!
him: *staring at screen not listening*
kid: Daddy!
his: *still staring*
kid: *screaming* DADDY!
him: *still didn't hear him*
kid: *bleeding profusely* whispers "daddy..."
him: "huh?" *still not looking away from screen.
kid: *lying in pool of own blood as pet Weimaraner - who never learned any tricks - is chewing on entrails*
aren't we an attractive and well-dressed couple, though? That was at a wedding in Portland, Oregon in May. Normally he's wearing 3-day-old choo-choo train boxers and a horrible smelling shirt, and I'm wearing... well, something awesome and stylish.
